Sunday, October 9, 2011

Kol Nidre Sermon: Your Jewish name

Hebrew Names

Temple Beth Jacob of Newburgh

Yom Kippur 5772

Back in June, I went to summer camp for staff week. My assignment: explain Reform Judaism to Israelis. This is a challenging assignment because most Israelis think Reform Jews are just bizarre in their very strange habit of doing religious things non-religiously. For most Israelis either you are religious -meaning Orthodox- or you are not.

So my task was to explain liberal Judaism to this curious bunch who carried no understanding of why we weren’t Orthodox but still said motzie and birkat ha-mazon and had tefillot and all that. It was not a simple one.

Here’s how I started. I asked them, “What is the Jewish Question?”

A moment for some history.

The Jewish Question first was asked in 1750 in Great Britain. It asked, as the enlightenment was evolving, how Jews, a group always apart and separate from the rest of the population, would fit in to the larger society. As the Enlightenment took hold, could Jews ever be, for example, English or would they forever be Jews who lived in England? Could a Jew be a Frenchman or simply a Jew, foreign, apart, distinct, who happens to live in France?

I asked the Israelis if they ever heard of the Jewish Question. They had not which, honestly, really surprised me. So I framed the question for them. The Jewish Question is simply this: How can a Jew live in the modern world? That is the question. How can a Jew live in the modern world?

Many people have tried to answer the Jewish Question. The Communists had an answer. They said that Jews can certainly live in the modern world but Judaism cannot. There was to be no room for religion in the communist revolution.

The Nazis had an answer to the Jewish Question. They said, simply, Jews cannot live in the modern world. Jews as a group are sub-human and therefore the modern world must not have any Jews in it hence the Final Solution to the Jewish Question.

The Zionists had an answer to the Jewish Question. The answer was, good luck. The world hates us, nobody loves us, anti-Semitism will rage forever so the only answer is to create our own sovereign territory where we can live out our own culture and defend ourselves when necessary. It’s a shame, said the Zionists, but that’s how it is. The only way to live in the modern world is on our own.

The Reform Movement was fast developing in 1750 and through the 18th and 19th centuries, we also tried to answer the Jewish Question. How can we live in the modern world? Our answer? Adapt. We have to adapt. The founders of Reform argued that everybody hates us because we don’t fit in and we don’t fit in because we are old fashioned, backward and insistent upon ignoring the modern world. The Reform Movement said we have to acculturate, to take on the best parts of the modern world and make them our own.

Quite famously in 1885, just forty years after the founding of this congregation, the Pittsburgh Platform boldly rejected and removed all sorts of things that put an impediment between us and our neighbors, things we thought might be too old fashioned. Yarmulkes, tallit and all that was abandoned as making us stand out too much, making us too provincial and just not allowing us to live in the modern world. We made changes. The main service Reform Jews attended was on Sunday with a proper long academic lecture so that you like your neighbors all would go to “church” on Sunday. We became Americans of the Jewish faith which was much more modern than the idea that we are part of the Jewish people, a people that lives all over the world connected by religion and custom and history and so on.

And how has that Reform Movement experiment worked out for us? Well, good and bad, I have to say.

It’s good when we shorten Yom Kippur tefillot by removing prayers we don’t believe, use English, enjoy a sense of Western decorum and so forth. Looking at our Yom Kippur experience and we see that our way really does speak to the modern Jew.

On the other hand, we have lost intensity. For every person who appreciates the thought behind the changes to the Yom Kippur liturgy, there’s ten others who are just grateful it’s shorter. Not to be insulting but I’m pretty sure I’ve only had one person ever ask me to extend Yom Kippur into actual nightfall. However, cutting it short, I’ve had plenty of requests.

Part of our lack of intensity comes from lack of knowledge. If Reform Jews knew more, had a deeper understanding of things, we would find Jewish life more moving and enriching. Okay, no problem. I’ll just have to keep teaching and you’ll have to keep learning so that we all understand why we do what we do. We can do better with Jewish knowledge.

But assimilation is another reason. We have done so well in assimilating that we have lost a sense of intense connection to the Jewish people. We are losing a sense of uniqueness. We should remember that the Jewish Question asks how can we be Jews in the modern world? We know very well how to be in the modern world. We are quite successful at living in the modern world. It’s the Jewish part we struggle with. We have to be careful that we don’t answer the Jewish Question by saying, “I won’t bother to be Jewish.” Lots of Jews do just that. They just walk away and that’s a shame but I’m not going to talk about them. They are not here. I want to talk to you and help you keep up our own intensity so we can live as Jews in the modern world.

There is a midrash, a rabbinic sermon from the 11th century writing Pesika Zutra that talks about what it means to be a nation and what it takes to stay unique as a nation. The rabbi was commenting on a very famous line. We read it every Pesach during the seder. We read: “My father was a fugitive Aramean. He went down to Egypt with meager numbers and sojourned there; but there he became a great and very populous nation.” (Deut. 26:5)

Never mind how you can be Jewish in the modern world. How exactly did they manage to stay distinct in ancient Egypt? The midrash offers this: the Israelites “became a nation - this teaches that they were distinct in that their clothes, food and language were different from the Egyptians.” Clothes, food and language. Notice, it doesn’t say faith or worship or holidays. Clothes, food and language. These are the hallmarks of culture. Those enslaved Israelites grew to be the Jewish people because they maintained their own culture: clothes, food, language.

In another place, the rabbis ask why, in any event, did God redeem the Israelites from Egypt. We know the Torah says that their cries grew loud and God responded but I suppose God could have heard the cries, looked down at the Israelites and decided, no, there really is no need to redeem them. They can stay where they are. Why did God think the Israelites were worthy of redemption?

The midrash from different rabbis over different centuries offers some ideas. Here they are:

Midrash Tehilim Rabba states: “R. Elazar Ha-kappara said: The Israelites were considered worthy to be redeemed from Egypt for four reasons: they did not change their names; they did not change their language; they did not reveal their secrets and they were not licentious in engaging in incest.”

Midrash Exodus Rabba states: “R. Huna said in the name of Bar-kappara: The Israelites were redeemed from Egypt for four reasons: They did not change their names and they did not change their language and they did not reveal their secret and they did not renounce their wives.”

Midrash Leviticus Rabba states: “R. Huna said in the name of Bar-kappara: The Israelites were redeemed from Egypt for four reasons: They did not change their names and they did not change their language and they did not engage in evil talk and no one could be found among them who committed incest.”

All of the midrashim reflect the rabbis asking: what was the secret of the Israelites in Egypt? How did they manage not to assimilate away while under difficult circumstances? The rabbis asked themselves that same question in the 8th century and 11th century and the 21st century. The answer seems to be: culture. Maintain your culture. How do you do that? How do you retain your culture?

The secrets referred to may have to do with sharing internal issues with outsiders something of a problem when the midrash was written. The issue with wives has to do with staying true even if they were tempted to renounce their wives in favor of Egyptian wives.

And the other answer to how they maintained their culture: they did not change their names. What does that mean?

Names are powerful. Names send a message. Names tell a story. They reflect culture. They reflect history. They reflect family when we name after a relative.

Ashkenazi Jews, Jews whose families come from Europe, customarily name after the deceased. Sephardi and Mizrachi Jews, Jews from North Africa and Arab countries name after a living relative. Either way, it is a powerful moment to see a baby and remember a grandparent. It is powerful to be a grandparent and say, “one day, my name will be given to the next generation and I will live on.” It speaks of continuity and it reminds us that we are not alone but rather part of a larger continuum.

One time I was working with a family where a grandfather was dying as a new baby was born. The parents wanted to name the child after their father, the ailing grandfather of the baby but he had not died. They didn’t want to seem callous as though they needed him to die to name the baby. I suggested they ask the new grandfather what he thought. It was one of those moving moments where, with tears, the new grandfather got to see his grandchild and hear his own name conferred. The name passed on to him was passed on to the next generation. When we name after a relative, that name, in one form or another, has travelled for thousands of years through thousands of ancestors. Even if it is just the first consonant, it has been travelling.

We are not taking about the secular name, mind you. What kept the Israelites Israelite was their Jewish names, their Hebrew names. It is the Hebrew name that makes us unique and carries our culture. Our secular name doesn’t make us unique. Everyone has a secular name. What makes us unique is our Hebrew name, the name that proclaims our connection to the Jewish people. In fact some argue that our Hebrew name is our real name. Our secular name is the name we use for convenience and I believe that. Here, my name is Lawrence. In France it is Laurent. But in a synagogue around the world, it is Leib. In full it is Leib ben Kalman v’Pesiah. When Jews gather to celebrate our Judaism, for a birth, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, a wedding or even mourn at a funeral, it is our Jewish name that is invoked. The joy of a babynaming is the joy of welcoming a child into the Jewish people and while we are pleased with the secular name, it is the Jewish name that is the highlight of the ceremony. Even El Al asks you if you know your Hebrew name as a signifier of Jewish connection. Hebrew Schools often use Hebrew names for the kids instead of secular names. We have to work on that. It certainly helps the kids remember their names.

How can we be Jews in the modern world? Fitting in to the modern world is no problem. Maintaining a sense of Jewishness is the challenge and having a Hebrew name is a big part of that. It says clearly, I have another name, another connection, another aspect to my life. I have a name that reflects an important part of my identity. I have a name that carries my culture.

So, what’s your Hebrew name? Many of you know your Hebrew name. You know who you were named after, you know the story of that person, what he or she was like. Many of you, however, do not know your Hebrew name. Sometimes people don’t know. Sometimes men ask their wives which is weird because why would she know better than him? Sometimes people have forgotten and that always seems a little sad. You’ve forgotten your name? You’ve forgotten this connection to your past?

We have to do something about this. We have to work to make sure that every Jew knows his or her name because what we really are talking about is remembering culture. We are remembering the link to our own family and we are remembering the link to our people.

Here are some suggestions.

If you have a new baby, have the babynaming and then put a photo of the namesake in the baby’s room. You’ll always remember the Hebrew name and the story behind it and soon enough the child will ask, “who is that?” and you will tell the story.

Don’t have a photo? There are any number of ways parents put their child’s name in the room. There are many gift items out there that celebrate a child’s name. Get one of those with the child’s Hebrew name on it either in Hebrew or English letters.

Use an initial to connect the Hebrew and secular name. People often ask me for the translation of a secular name so they can match it to the Hebrew name. Don’t do it. No one ever remembers etymology. Just use the first letter. So if you are naming after Pinchas, use a P or after Rivka, use an R. Using the first letter is the connector. People remember consonants easily. And by the way, your Hebrew name connects you to the Jewish people but today many children are named after non-Jewish grandparents. This is not a problem and a sign of the times and a moment of celebrating all of a child’s ancestors.

Not sure of your Hebrew name? Go find your Ketubah. Today, people have beautiful ketubot that they often hang on the wall. Earlier generations had standard ketubot the rabbi pulled out of the file cabinet and they often got shoved in dresser drawers or bank vaults. Go find it. If you can’t read the Hebrew, bring it in and I’ll give it a look.

Bar or Bat Mitzvah certificates usually have Hebrew names on them. For our kids I make sure the Jewish name is there in Hebrew and English transliteration. People call up all the time asking if we have a record of a Bar Mitzvah from the 1950s because the person wants to know his Hebrew name. We do not have those records. Save those certificates.

Don’t have a Hebrew name at all? Pick one. Maybe you never got a Hebrew name. Let’s look back to see who you were named after and adopt that name. Don’t know who you were named after? Then let’s choose a Hebrew name you will use among your people.

In your machzorim are cards asking for your Hebrew name. Fill out a card. Find your Hebrew name and the story that goes with it. Do it for your children, your grandchildren and yourself. Connect to your history. Protect your future. Put those cards in a good safe place and enjoy talking with your family as you learn about your own name and how you got it.

Your name is more than an honorific. It is more than a ritual device. Your name speaks to who you are in this world. You are many things. You present to the world in many ways. One of those ways is being the bearer of a 4000 year old heritage. Wear that proudly. How can we be Jewish in the modern world? It’s not always easy but one way to succeed is to have our Jewish name as a symbol of who we are and who we will always continue to be.

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